Idle Words

I'm still here! I continue to read the Bible every day, and pray, but I don't feel very connected to the Lord. Today I read in Luke 24 about the time in between the crucifixion and the resurrection, when the disciples were in despair. The women go to the tomb to anoint the body, but instead of a corpse, find angels (Luke 24:5-7):

And as they were frightened and bowed their faces to the ground, the men said to them, "Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here, but has risen. Remember how he told you while he was still in Galilee, that the Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men and be crucified and on the third day rise."

So the women run back and share this good news with the other disciples, and this was their reaction (Luke 24:10-12):

Now it was Mary Magdalene and Joanna and Mary the mother of James and the other women with them who told these things to the apostles, but these words seemed to them an idle tale, and they did not believe them. But Peter rose and ran to the tomb; stooping and looking in, he saw the linen cloths by themselves; and he went home marveling at what had happened.

The women burst into the upper room to impart the words of hope from the angels, but the message seemed to the men an "idle tale", and they didn't believe. The words "idle tale" jumped out at me this morning, because that is how scripture has seemed to me lately--idle words. The opposite of idle is "at work", or, even "powerful". The words in the Bible that I have been reading have seemed devoid of power. I know that they are true intellectually, but the heart connection hasn't been there. Apparently the disciples knew that feeling.

What did Peter do with this "idle tale", however? He ran to the tomb, the last place where he thought Jesus might be, and looked for Him. Interestingly, Peter did not at that moment see the risen Lord. He saw the abandoned grave clothes, and "marveled" at seeing them, and then went home. Extrapolating to myself, I need to keep looking for Jesus and to go back to the last place that I heard Him speak, and see what He wants to show me there. It may not be an epiphany just yet, but maybe a glimmer of hope that God's Word is not, in fact, idle.

Keep it Simple . . .

As I continue to think about hardness of heart and how to overcome that, the disciples keep providing me with more examples. They were just so clueless. . . I read in Mark 8 today. Jesus, the disciples, seven loaves of bread and thousands of people. I think we've been here before? The disciples, "Oh, no, what shall we do? We don't have enough bread." Once again, Jesus multiples the bread and there are seven baskets left over. Back in the boat, the disciples only brought one loaf of bread (they definitely need a woman in that group) and start arguing about it. Peter, John, Andrew and crew have just seen Jesus restore speech and hearing to a deaf man. They've seen him give sight to the blind and raise the dead. Yet they still don't know who Jesus really is, even though it is right in front of them.

As I've pointed out before, I am very like the disciples. I think the key is that, even though they didn't understand lots (and lots and lots) of things, they stayed with Jesus. They kept following, they kept trying to obey, they kept listening and asking questions and bumbling along with Him until finally their eyes were opened to the truth. I can do that. I can pray. I can read the Bible. I can try to obey what I understand. I can keep seeking and keep asking. In the process, I will come to know Jesus more and more and my heart will become softer and softer. Yay!

In Good Company

Guess what? The disciples had hardened hearts, too! I thought it was only Pharoah and the Pharisees, but, there it is, in black and white (Mark 6:51-52):

And he got into the boat with them, and the wind ceased. And they were utterly astounded, for they did not understand about the loaves, but their hearts were hardened.

The disciples had just seen Jesus feed five thousand people with five loaves and two fish. The very same day, they witnessed first-hand Jesus walking on water. WALKING ON WATER. But they still didn't know who He was. My first reaction is "Come ON, can't you see that this man is something more than human?" I have this reaction to the Israelites, too: "Can't you see that God just parted the sea and is giving you food from heaven? Why are you so quick to bail?"

Ahem, yes, well, I've seen God do amazing things, too, and seen Him provide, and seen Him work, and yet, almost every time I feel scared (like the disciples in the roiling sea and the Israelites wandering in the desert), I react with the very same disbelief.

However, it encourages me that the disciples were among those of us who have had hardened hearts, because look at the end of the story! Almost all of them (Judas excepted) became champions of the faith, willing to die for Jesus. If they could become so full of faith and devoted, it gives me hope that I could, too. It also convicts me of the necessity for praying for a soft heart, since I'm still not sure how much of a hard heart is under our control, and because, if the disciples were with Jesus every day and seeing His miracles up close and still didn't believe, then I need all the help I can get! Something to think about: What changed for the disciples, to transform their unbelief into faith? The resurrection and seeing Jesus alive after death? Seeing the power of the Holy Spirit? I'm going to keep my eyes open to try and see how their hearts were changed.