Today is my birthday, and I smiled after my quiet time this morning because the Lord knows me so well. First He gave me a happy present from Psalm 71, verse three (the first half):
Be to me a rock of refuge,
to which I may continually come. . .
The word that I liked and that made me smile was "continually". I sometimes feel that I am running back to the Lord with the same problems/feelings over and over and over. And I am. But that's okay, because now I have express permission to "continually" come.
Secondly, the Lord gave me a "whack" with Proverbs 29:11:
A fool gives full vent to [her] spirit,
but a wise [woman] quietly holds it back
Over the weekend I had some moments of giving full vent to my spirit which ended up in conflict and hurt and . . .yuck. God just gave me my next memory verse. Somehow correction straight from the Holy Spirit is the easiest to receive.
So, thank you to the Lord for BOTH of my birthday presents, both the happy and the hard.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
It Rests on God
Reading through Psalm 62 this morning, and I am grateful for a God Who knows exactly what I need to hear and when I need to hear it. Verses 5-7:
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
It's so easy to put our hope in something or someone other than the Lord: Success, money, security, growth, friends, family, relationships. But my only true hope is in God. He is my security and my safe place.
I also find great comfort that my salvation and my glory rest on God, and not on me. Not on my faith or my works or my obedience, but on God. This morning is a time when I know without at doubt that my only glory comes from God and it not from me, and I am grateful that He is the one in charge. I don't have to be strong or know what I am doing--He has it covered!
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
It's so easy to put our hope in something or someone other than the Lord: Success, money, security, growth, friends, family, relationships. But my only true hope is in God. He is my security and my safe place.
I also find great comfort that my salvation and my glory rest on God, and not on me. Not on my faith or my works or my obedience, but on God. This morning is a time when I know without at doubt that my only glory comes from God and it not from me, and I am grateful that He is the one in charge. I don't have to be strong or know what I am doing--He has it covered!
Monday, September 6, 2010
Waiting PATIENTLY
The title of this blog continues to haunt me. . . I am discovering these days that there is a difference between waiting and waiting patiently. Maybe at the beginning of the process, there is virtue simply in the waiting, but now, when I have been waiting for some things for a very long time, it seems that more is required. I'm reading a really good book right now by Priscilla Shirer, called "One in a Million", which is about the Israelites and their wilderness experience, and about how we should handle our own wilderness experience.
The Israelites have lots of trouble with complaining. So do I. From p. 115 in "One in a Million":
Me waiting on God and complaining the whole time about how hard it is and how I hate to wait is negating any value whatsoever in the actual waiting. As much as I hate to wait (and, yes, I really do), I hate more that I may be undoing any witness or any character growth that the Lord might hope to do through me or in me because I am choosing not to wait quietly or patiently. If I must wait, I at least would like it to be for a purpose and to God's glory.
I read in Psalm 50:14-15 today words which dovetail nicely with these thoughts:
"Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving,
and perform your vows to the Most High,
and call upon me in the day of trouble;
I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me."
When I am tempted to complain or whine, I need to offer thanksgiving instead--which is the sacrifice part. I don't FEEL like giving thanks, but that is when I need to choose to thank the Lord for His love and His presence in my life, and to call out to Him rather than to whine to everyone else.
And I think everyone else might be kind of happy about this plan as well!
The Israelites have lots of trouble with complaining. So do I. From p. 115 in "One in a Million":
The spirit of complaint is born out of an unwillingness to trust God with today. Like the Israelites, it means that you are spending your time looking back toward Egypt or wishing for the future, all the while missing what God is doing right now. . . It takes what God is doing in your life and smashes it into a thousand wasted pieces.
Me waiting on God and complaining the whole time about how hard it is and how I hate to wait is negating any value whatsoever in the actual waiting. As much as I hate to wait (and, yes, I really do), I hate more that I may be undoing any witness or any character growth that the Lord might hope to do through me or in me because I am choosing not to wait quietly or patiently. If I must wait, I at least would like it to be for a purpose and to God's glory.
I read in Psalm 50:14-15 today words which dovetail nicely with these thoughts:
"Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving,
and perform your vows to the Most High,
and call upon me in the day of trouble;
I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me."
When I am tempted to complain or whine, I need to offer thanksgiving instead--which is the sacrifice part. I don't FEEL like giving thanks, but that is when I need to choose to thank the Lord for His love and His presence in my life, and to call out to Him rather than to whine to everyone else.
And I think everyone else might be kind of happy about this plan as well!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Kind Consequences
I tend to be a rule-follower. I like to do things "right", especially when it comes to God. That motivation is not altogether wrong, but I am often trying to get it right so that I can make God love me more (I can't) or so I don't make Him angry with me.
Yesterday, through my sin, God showed me more of His character. I was wanting to do something (that was not in and of itself wrong or sin) and God very clearly told me to wait. I was good with this for the first day, the second day, and almost the third day, but then I decided that surely He didn't mean wait SO long (3 whole days!), so I would just help the matter out a little bit. Oops. This part of the story is when my human nature would write in about how horrible and awful things happened because I disobeyed what the Lord told me to do.
God wrote a different story. I got my way and did what I wanted and. . . the end result wasn't what I had hoped. Nothing bad happened, but I didn't get the good I was seeking. Then the Lord very gently pointed out to me that I did not meet the need that I had, and that I would be much happier and it would be so much better if I waited for Him to work instead of pushing ahead. There were no thunder claps or lightning strikes, just His gentle reminder that He wants what's best for me.
My heart was touched that the Lord knew just what would speak to me the most. I deserved Him to holler at me and be mad, because I ignored what He said to me. However, I felt like He knew my frame and my heart and knew that I needed to recognize that His correction is not always severe, but often (always?) laced in mercy.
Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance? (Romans 2:4)
May I never presume upon God's kindness, but may I remain thankful to have experienced His kindness that leads to repentance. I'm back to waiting mode. . .
Yesterday, through my sin, God showed me more of His character. I was wanting to do something (that was not in and of itself wrong or sin) and God very clearly told me to wait. I was good with this for the first day, the second day, and almost the third day, but then I decided that surely He didn't mean wait SO long (3 whole days!), so I would just help the matter out a little bit. Oops. This part of the story is when my human nature would write in about how horrible and awful things happened because I disobeyed what the Lord told me to do.
God wrote a different story. I got my way and did what I wanted and. . . the end result wasn't what I had hoped. Nothing bad happened, but I didn't get the good I was seeking. Then the Lord very gently pointed out to me that I did not meet the need that I had, and that I would be much happier and it would be so much better if I waited for Him to work instead of pushing ahead. There were no thunder claps or lightning strikes, just His gentle reminder that He wants what's best for me.
My heart was touched that the Lord knew just what would speak to me the most. I deserved Him to holler at me and be mad, because I ignored what He said to me. However, I felt like He knew my frame and my heart and knew that I needed to recognize that His correction is not always severe, but often (always?) laced in mercy.
Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance? (Romans 2:4)
May I never presume upon God's kindness, but may I remain thankful to have experienced His kindness that leads to repentance. I'm back to waiting mode. . .
Friday, July 30, 2010
Trusting the Author
Funny how God speaks from out of nowhere. Last week I was on vacation with some friends, reading a young adult book called "The Underneath". I am not a fan of books with loads of sadness or unhappy endings, and since this book contained many sad elements, I was a little worried about whether it would end well. To my relief and satisfaction, the ending was just what it should have been--redemption for the most lovable main characters and justice for the villain.
In discussing the book with my friends, I was sharing how I had been unsure about whether it would be worth it to keep reading, because I wasn't positive that there would be a payoff at the end, but that I did, and there was. A friend commented that it was just another example of how life and the Christian walk is a journey. I'm not fond of the journey analogy. In fact, I pretty much loathe the reality that it's the journey and not the destination. The Lord and I argue about that regularly.
However, this is where the Lord jumped in, and spoke through MY mouth. I replied, "Yes, I know, I know, but in the book I trusted the author that the end would be worth it." Ouch. Therein is the crux of it: Do I trust God, the author and perfecter of my faith? Do I trust that in my story, the sadness and trials will be necessary and I will see their purpose at the end? Do I believe that the circumstances are not the end, but the means? Am I confident that the Lord's authorship of my life is skilled and careful and full of redemption?
I trusted the author of this novel because I could see the care in which she had crafted her characters and the poetry in her story. Evidence of God's caring and craft is all around me. Amazed again at how the Lord knows the perfect way to communicate with me, I am determining to trust the author of my story and keep reading to the end!
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1-2, NIV)
In discussing the book with my friends, I was sharing how I had been unsure about whether it would be worth it to keep reading, because I wasn't positive that there would be a payoff at the end, but that I did, and there was. A friend commented that it was just another example of how life and the Christian walk is a journey. I'm not fond of the journey analogy. In fact, I pretty much loathe the reality that it's the journey and not the destination. The Lord and I argue about that regularly.
However, this is where the Lord jumped in, and spoke through MY mouth. I replied, "Yes, I know, I know, but in the book I trusted the author that the end would be worth it." Ouch. Therein is the crux of it: Do I trust God, the author and perfecter of my faith? Do I trust that in my story, the sadness and trials will be necessary and I will see their purpose at the end? Do I believe that the circumstances are not the end, but the means? Am I confident that the Lord's authorship of my life is skilled and careful and full of redemption?
I trusted the author of this novel because I could see the care in which she had crafted her characters and the poetry in her story. Evidence of God's caring and craft is all around me. Amazed again at how the Lord knows the perfect way to communicate with me, I am determining to trust the author of my story and keep reading to the end!
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1-2, NIV)
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Setting Our Hearts
While I may no longer be in the desert, I think I am still wandering through the wilderness--hearing God's voice clearly now and then. I continue to pray, read the Bible, and wait. Today I was reading in 2 Chronicles about Jehoshaphat's reign. These verses stuck out to me:
"He [Jehoshaphat] walked in the way of Asa his father and did not turn aside from it, doing what was right in the sight of the LORD. The high places, however, were not taken away; the people had not yet set their hearts upon the God of their fathers."
Though Jehoshaphat was following the Lord and listening to His prophets, and had even officially ordered that the high places be torn down (2 Chronicles 17:6), the people were not wholeheartedly committed to the Lord. They had not "set their hearts" upon the Lord.
What does setting my heart upon the Lord look like? The people had just seen God do a miracle, in winning a major battle for them without them doing anything but go down to meet the opposing army. The Lord struck their enemy dead without them raising a weapon. So, listening to God and obeying Him does not seem to be the same as setting their hearts on the Lord. Maybe it is a deeper, heart work? A decision to commit completely to following the Lord, loving Him, and trusting Him at an emotional level and not only a practical one? Does it mean that, along with reading the Bible, praying, and obeying, I need to determine that my heart belongs to the Lord and that I will trust, praise, and believe His goodness in my life regardless of circumstances? That I won't just listen and obey without engaging my emotions? Lots to think about today.
"He [Jehoshaphat] walked in the way of Asa his father and did not turn aside from it, doing what was right in the sight of the LORD. The high places, however, were not taken away; the people had not yet set their hearts upon the God of their fathers."
Though Jehoshaphat was following the Lord and listening to His prophets, and had even officially ordered that the high places be torn down (2 Chronicles 17:6), the people were not wholeheartedly committed to the Lord. They had not "set their hearts" upon the Lord.
What does setting my heart upon the Lord look like? The people had just seen God do a miracle, in winning a major battle for them without them doing anything but go down to meet the opposing army. The Lord struck their enemy dead without them raising a weapon. So, listening to God and obeying Him does not seem to be the same as setting their hearts on the Lord. Maybe it is a deeper, heart work? A decision to commit completely to following the Lord, loving Him, and trusting Him at an emotional level and not only a practical one? Does it mean that, along with reading the Bible, praying, and obeying, I need to determine that my heart belongs to the Lord and that I will trust, praise, and believe His goodness in my life regardless of circumstances? That I won't just listen and obey without engaging my emotions? Lots to think about today.
Monday, July 12, 2010
With the Blessings, Risk
Reading 1 Chronicles right now, and have finally gotten through the geneologies and on to the accounts of David's kingship. Today's portion told of when David decided to move the ark of the covenant, but did not follow the rules set forth by the Lord in how to do so (the ark was considered to be the presence of the Lord). 1 Chronicles 13:10-14 tell what happened:
And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Uzziah, and he struck him downbecause he put out his hand to the ark, and he died there before God. And David was angry because the LORD had broken out against Uzzah. . . And David was afraid of God that day, and he said, "How can I bring the ark of God home to me?" So David did not take the ark home into the city of David, but took it aside to the house of Obed-edom the Gittite. And the ark of God remained with the household of Obed-edom in his house three months. And the LORD blessed the household of Obed-edom and all that he had.
I had never noticed that David was angry with the Lord, and afraid of Him as well. I can relate to David's emotions. He might have been thinking, "Hey, I'm just trying to return the ark to its rightful place, and now this man is dead." Followed by, "Uh-oh. Maybe I don't really want to mess with the ark if death could be a result." So David sends the ark away, and the people who receive it also receive blessings.
I think there are parallels to our lives. We want the presence of the Lord, so we seek Him and try to obey Him. However, this seeking and obedience will sometimes result in death (of a vision, of a desire, of a plan) and pain, as we unexpectedly see the power of God and realize that, though He is our loving Savior, He is also the Great I Am who will not share His glory. That realization, that the Lord is not just the great grandpa in the sky, and that following Him requires sacrifice, may make us fear Him, and choose to "send Him away" by not talking to Him or spending time with Him.
Yet, we then start to notice that others who are following God are receiving blessings. Eventually, as with David, our desire for the blessing and connection to the Lord will outweigh our fear (2 Samuel 6:12):
And it was told King David, "The LORD has blessed the household of Obed-edom and all that belongs to him, because of the ark of God."So David went and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-edom to the city of David with rejoicing.
I realize we cannot draw a perfect parallel from the Old Testament world of the law to the New Testament world of grace, but I do think that I in my life have had moments of pulling away from the Lord--sending the ark away--because of anger and fear, and then realized the blessings I was missing, and chosen to try again to walk in the presence of the Lord. The choice is to risk the often painful character refinement and disappointment of "no" in exchange for communion and blessings. As a Christian, God will never leave me, and I cannot really send Him away, but I can chose to live without consulting Him or including Him in my plans. May all of us see that the blessings of walking with God are worth the risk.
And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Uzziah, and he struck him downbecause he put out his hand to the ark, and he died there before God. And David was angry because the LORD had broken out against Uzzah. . . And David was afraid of God that day, and he said, "How can I bring the ark of God home to me?" So David did not take the ark home into the city of David, but took it aside to the house of Obed-edom the Gittite. And the ark of God remained with the household of Obed-edom in his house three months. And the LORD blessed the household of Obed-edom and all that he had.
I had never noticed that David was angry with the Lord, and afraid of Him as well. I can relate to David's emotions. He might have been thinking, "Hey, I'm just trying to return the ark to its rightful place, and now this man is dead." Followed by, "Uh-oh. Maybe I don't really want to mess with the ark if death could be a result." So David sends the ark away, and the people who receive it also receive blessings.
I think there are parallels to our lives. We want the presence of the Lord, so we seek Him and try to obey Him. However, this seeking and obedience will sometimes result in death (of a vision, of a desire, of a plan) and pain, as we unexpectedly see the power of God and realize that, though He is our loving Savior, He is also the Great I Am who will not share His glory. That realization, that the Lord is not just the great grandpa in the sky, and that following Him requires sacrifice, may make us fear Him, and choose to "send Him away" by not talking to Him or spending time with Him.
Yet, we then start to notice that others who are following God are receiving blessings. Eventually, as with David, our desire for the blessing and connection to the Lord will outweigh our fear (2 Samuel 6:12):
And it was told King David, "The LORD has blessed the household of Obed-edom and all that belongs to him, because of the ark of God."So David went and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-edom to the city of David with rejoicing.
I realize we cannot draw a perfect parallel from the Old Testament world of the law to the New Testament world of grace, but I do think that I in my life have had moments of pulling away from the Lord--sending the ark away--because of anger and fear, and then realized the blessings I was missing, and chosen to try again to walk in the presence of the Lord. The choice is to risk the often painful character refinement and disappointment of "no" in exchange for communion and blessings. As a Christian, God will never leave me, and I cannot really send Him away, but I can chose to live without consulting Him or including Him in my plans. May all of us see that the blessings of walking with God are worth the risk.
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