David, David, David. . .

Oh, I have been lax with blog posts. . . lack of posting does NOT mean lack of God moving, just sometimes lack of consolidating what He's been doing into any sort of organized form. 

I have had the privilege this summer of going through the Bible study "Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed."  It's published by Lifeway and examines the life of David with teachings by Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore, and Kay Arthur.  David is such an interesting guy.  He is extolled in the Bible as a "man after God's own heart" (1 Samuel 13:14) and yet he was an adulterer, a murderer, and caused the death of thousands of people because of his disobedience (2 Samuel 24). 

I have blogged before about how I think it's interesting that these accounts of David's sin are included in scripture at all.  It would have been pretty easy to just gloss over that part--indeed, the book of 1 Chronicles does just that, telling about David's reign and neglecting the whole Bathsheba incident.  However, during our Bible study discussion last night, and through another book I am reading ("Desiring God" by John Piper), I think I am beginning to understand more about the nature and character of God and how His grace is most evidence in our weakness.

The book of 2 Corinthians, verses 9-10 say this:

But he [the Lord] said to me [Paul], “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Yet another verse that I have heard many, many times, but have had difficulty understanding.  One of God's major goals is His glory.  The story of David, great king of Israel who killed Goliath and endured years of hiding from Saul, who took the throne and brought back the ark and received the promise from God of a line enduring forever. . . Well, that's a great story, and I could read it and think "Wow, David was so cool.  No wonder God blessed him."  The story of David, lustful man who sleeps with Bathsheba, tried to cover it up, kills her husband, and as a result loses a baby, has a daughter raped by her half brother and then ends up with another brother killing that brother, the same son sleeping with David's wives and taking over the throne. . . THAT David makes me see God and not David. 

Who is this God who forgives sin?  Who washes David clean?  Who keeps His promise (indeed promises knowing full well what David will do) after David "despises" Him?  David's weakness is the vessel for me to see God's glory.  The consequences of sin remain, but by knowing the unvarnished truth of David's life, the glory of God is revealed as the central message of his life.

Our lives are meant to tell the glory of God, as well, which means that we are going to have to show our weaknesses as well as our strengths, so that people can look at us and say not "Wow, she's such a good Christian," but "Wow, she serves such a great God."

Well, Except for That. . .

I'm reading in 1 Kings, about Solomon.  I feel so conflicted about Solomon.  He was the wisest person ever to live, yet still managed to fall away from what God required of him.  1 Kings 3:3 says:    

Solomon showed his love for the Lord by walking according to the instructions given him by his father David, except that he offered sacrifices and burned incense on the high places.(NIV)

Solomon loved the Lord, except that he sacrificed in unauthorized places.  Solomon loved the Lord, except that he made alliances with Egypt.  Solomon loved the Lord, except that he spent longer constructing his palace than the temple.  Solomon loved the Lord, except that he had hundreds of concubines.

I'm not bashing Solomon.  My heart is exactly the same (minus the great wisdom and wealth):  I love the Lord, except that I say unkind words.  I love the Lord, except that  I spend more time on the computer or watching TV than with Him.  I love the Lord, except that I don't love His children the way He has expressly commanded me.

My first thought about this conflict was to figure out how I can remove the "except that" from my life.  What do I need to do so that the statement can simply be, "Edna loved the Lord."  What plan can I make?  Whose accountability do I need?  What consequence for messing up?  Then I heard the whisper of the Spirit reminding me that there will always be an "except that".  I am broken.  Solomon was broken.  All of us since Adam and Eve are broken.  We can't love the Lord without exception in our own strength because our own strength cannot heal our brokenness. 

Once again I am brought back to the cross and to the wonder and mercy of Jesus.  He died for the "except that's" in my life.  Seen through His redemption, I do love the Lord.  Period.  But not because of me, because of His great mercy.  There is no "except that" in John 3:16:

 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Right Now is When it Counts

Can you tell I'm a teacher and it's May?  Craziness abounds. . . But, God continues to work in the midst of the end-of-the-year-moving-to-a-new-building-trying-to-live-life busyness.

Earlier this week I read Psalm 106, and I have been thinking about verse seven:

  Our fathers, when they were in Egypt,
    did not consider your wondrous works;
they did not remember the abundance of your steadfast love,
    but rebelled by the sea, at the Red Sea.

The Israelites and I, unfortunately, share the same DNA.  They had just seen the Lord do miracle after miracle in leading them out of Egypt.  Not just one, but several supernatural events.  OBVIOUSLY God was involved in their lives.  He was orchestrating their freedom from slavery.  Yet, they come to the edge of the Red Sea and decide that this last rescue is too much for God.  Throughout the history of the Israelites, they cycle between belief for a while, and then unbelief.

As I continue to read God's Word and to live my life, it seems that, like the forgetful and idolatrous Israelites, I have to continually remember to walk in the truth that I already know.  The particular part of the verse that stands out to me is that "they did not remember the abundance of [God's] steadfast love".  I recently had one of those moments when life didn't go the way I wanted it to, and I was almost down road of rebellion in my heart. I wanted to doubt God and to shout at Him and to give up hope that this particular desire would ever be met.  Many of us have been there--when we still don't get the job after the fifth different interview.  When we still don't get a pregnancy after numerous doctor visits and tests.  When we still don't have a marriage after going on at least a million dates.

Like the Israelites, I can forget the abundance of the Lord's steadfast love that He has shown me consistently over the years and focus on the one area in which I don't feel loved, or where I fear I will never see His hand.  They knew God had already rescued them from Pharoah's control.  Yet they were still afraid they were going to die at the hand of the Egyptians in the desert.  I know that Jesus has rescued me from the pit of hell and has redeemed my life.  Yet I still fear the pain of the lack of the one last thing I think I need. . .

I am trying to grasp that right here, right now, in the place of feeling like this one thing will never change, NOW is when I have to remember the Lord's steadfast, abundant love and His faithfulness.  Right this minute is when I need to believe in God's goodness and mercy toward me and trust that He will, if not give me what I want, rescue me from the despair and disappointment that threaten.   The Lord did part the Red Sea.  However, because of the lack of belief of the people, they did die in the desert, as a result of refusing to believe in the promises of God.  I have the choice whether I believe or not, and while I don't risk dying in the desert, I do fear missing the peace and glory of God in my life if I forget the love He has already abundantly shown me through Jesus.

May God Be Ever in Your Favor

"May the odds be ever in your favor" is the go-to phrase from the current movie "The Hunger Games", and the irony is, of course, that the odds most definitely are not in the favor of the tributes to whom the phrase is spoken.  In the read-the-Bible-in-a-year plan that I am following, the schedule hinges on reading some from the Old Testament, some from the New Testament, and some from Psalms and Proverbs every day.  Currently I am reading in Deuteronomy chapters 29-32, where Moses lays out for the people of Israel the blessings and the curses.  The gist is:  choose God, and you will be blessed.  Turn away and disobey and you will be cursed.  And not just theoretically cursed.  Punished.  Starved.  Killed.  I've been having a hard time reconciling the seemingly harsh God of the Old Testament with the forgiving God of the New Testament.

Last night I attended a Good Friday service at Lifepoint Church .The Lord used the message I heard to help me to understand more of Who He is and what He has been doing in history.  I will apologize in advance to Pastor Eric in case my interpretation of what he said is not exactly what he meant.  The message ought to be up soon on iTunes if you would like to listen to it (iTunes - Podcasts - The Lifepoint Connection by Eric Darst).   Following is what I gleaned out of the message:

In the Old Testament, God warns His people over and over and over again that they need to obey His commands and give Him the glory.  A main theme throughout the Bible is that God will not share His glory with another.  Isaiah 42:8 says:  "I am the Lord; that is my name;  my glory I give to no other, nor my praise to carved idols."  In God's dealings with His people, He tries to woo them to Him, they reject Him, and they are punished over and over for idolatry and disobedience.  The punishment to me has seemed harsh.  Yet, in the New Testament, if anything, the consequence for rejecting God's glory (trusting in idols, disbelief, pride. . . really, all sin) appears even more cruel, for Romans 6:23 states  "For the wages of sin is death. . . ".    Christians often avoid the use of the word Hell, but Biblically speaking,  it's pretty clear that to reject God is to choose Hell, which is an eternal separation from God and an absence of all that is good and true and right.


Hell is not a fun idea.  People often say "God wouldn't do that."  Yet, the very idea that WE are saying what God will and will not do to preserve the holiness of His Name only further belittles His glory.  My objection to the curses in Deuteronomy are MY sin of thinking that surely God's glory is not that big a deal.  So the Israelites disobey.  So they turn to idols after seeing God's glory more up-close and personal than any people in history.  So they grumble and disbelieve and sin.  Can't God just overlook it?  The Bible says clearly no, though God even in the Old Testament, even after His repeated warnings and urgings and punishments, shows His people mercy.  Psalm 78 is a wonderful picture of Israel's rebellious history and God's mercy to them:

 When he killed them, they sought him;
    they repented and sought God earnestly. 
 They remembered that God was their rock,
    the Most High God their redeemer. 
 But they flattered him with their mouths;
    they lied to him with their tongues. 
 Their heart was not steadfast toward him;
    they were not faithful to his covenant. 
 Yet he, being compassionate,
     atoned for their iniquity
    and did not destroy them;
he restrained his anger often
    and did not stir up all his wrath. 
 He remembered that they were but flesh,
     a wind that passes and comes not again.
(Psalm 78: 34-39)

 Reluctantly, I have to believe that Hell is justified because God says that it is.  However, gloriously, thankfully, amazingly, Hell is not the sole response that the Lord has to the trampling of His glory.  God's compassion and love for us is so great that He provided another way.  God really did love us so much that He sent His son Jesus, to pay the price for our sin and disregard for His glory.  God Himself bore the punishment for our sin so that we could be united with Him and in relationship with Him forever.

Why did I find this so momentous that I needed to blog about it?  Isn't this basic Christian doctrine?  What is so earth-shattering?

I needed to blog about this because, though I grew up going to church and have been a Christian for a long time now, I still do not grasp the depth of God's grace and mercy toward me.  The Old Testament people deserved death for their sin.  I deserve death for my sin.  Yet God made a way so that I don't have to die.  I don't have to be separated from God for all eternity even though I have belittled and trampled upon and not even fully grasped the extent of God's glory and holiness.  He made a way for me when I could not make it myself, and He continues to love and guide me even when my understanding is so woefully lacking.  His grace is SO much bigger than I imagine, and whenever I come even a teeny bit closer to seeing it, I want to share it with everyone!

Though my thinking that God should always be "in my favor" is false, the reality that He truly does have a heart to bestow favor upon me is true.  May you see more of God's glory this Easter!

Missing Jesus

Pretty humbling to have a blog centered on hearing from the Lord and then have no posts for over a month.  Yikes.  Sometimes it's like that, though, at least for me. I'm still reading my Bible and still praying (though I've been missing more days than I like to), but I'm not hearing as clearly as I sometimes do.  When that happens, I try to acknowledge it, bring that concern to God, and just keep walking in obedience the best that I can. 

Last Sunday my pastor at LifeSpring Community Church was talking about Jesus appearing to people after the resurrection.  He was sharing from John 21.  Verse one says that "After this Jesus revealed himself again to the disciples by the Sea of Tiberias, and he revealed himself in this way."  Then, in verse four, we find out that " Just as day was breaking, Jesus stood on the shore; yet the disciples did not know that it was Jesus."

Jesus had already appeared to the disciples about a week earlier, in the upper room (John 20).  He had stood among them, talked to them, shown them the nail holes in His hands and the wound in His side.  Yet, seven days later, the disciples don't recognize Jesus even as they see Him and He speaks to them.  Not until Jesus re-creates a moment from their past (a miraculous catch of fish) does John realize that the man on the shore is Jesus.

I am often comforted by the disciples, because I, too, have seen Jesus at work on one day, and then missed Him just a short time later.  This blog absence when it seems that I am not hearing from the Lord is one such instance.  I know that He is speaking, but somehow I am not hearing His voice.  There are many reasons why I may be hard of hearing. . . sin, impatience, lack of time with God, or an incorrect perspective, just to name a few.  A recent example of the last:  In the past few years I have been braving the dangerous and unsure waters of online dating.  Goal:  a godly husband.  Two years into it:  No husband, thereby causing me to view this venture as unsuccessful and lacking God's blessing.  Revelation upon waking up Saturday morning:  God has blessed this journey mightily, though not in the way that I envisioned.   No, I'm not married yet, but I have met some good men, learned a ton about myself, and had my faith strengthened hugely by having to trust the Lord even more directly in this arena. 

Even as I peer uncertainly from my boat, wondering who that man is on the shore and what he is doing, Jesus is busy directing my net and providing me with exactly the food that I need.  My prayer is that I recognize His hand and hear His voice faster and more clearly every day.

Greater Glory

I often rue the day I named this blog.  Sometimes the worst four-letter word I know is spelled w-a-i-t.  Yet, I believe God has His hand in all things, even blog titles, and I know that He keeps showing me more and more about the why of waiting. 

Reading in Matthew last week about Jesus' crucifixion, I noticed these verses (Matthew 27:41-43):  

So also the chief priests, with the scribes and elders, mocked him, saying,“He saved others; he cannot save himself. He is the King of Israel; let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him.   He trusts in God; let God deliver him now, if he desires him. For he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’”

The priests said that since Jesus trusts in God, then He should ask God to deliver him NOW.   In my economy, I think of "now" as a happy word, as the antidote to "wait".  I trust in God (imperfectly, but I do).  So, how about I get what I think I need now?  However, if God had rescued Jesus from the cross at that moment, all would have been lost.  The crucifixion was God's answer to our sin and our only hope of salvation.

I have been thinking a lot about God's glory, lately, as I have been reading (very slowly, in small bites) John Piper's "Desiring God".  God's greatest glory was to be achieved a few days after the crucifixion.  Had God removed Jesus from the cross right then, the great glory of resurrection and triumph over sin would have been lost.

Maybe, just maybe, the reason that we wait, even as we trust God, is so that God's greater glory can be realized.  Had Joseph been released from the dungeon earlier, all of Israel could have been lost.  Had Elizabeth become pregnant in her youth, she would not have been carrying John the Baptist to herald the arrival of the Messiah.  Had Jesus healed Lazarus before he died, the miracle of a body four days dead, emerging from the tomb still wrapped in grave clothes (John 11) would have been missed.

God is about His glory, not my convenience.  The challenge of my faith is to believe that the reason that I'm waiting (for the job, for the healing, for the husband, for the baby, for the reconciliation, for the answer, for. . . whichever thing each of us waits for) is to achieve God's greater glory, and that seeing His glory will be worth the wait.

Unrighteous Indignation

It is an awful thing to see oneself reflected in the attitude of the Pharisees (the text says "chief priests and scribes--what I will call Pharisees--forgive my liberty if they are not technically that set of priests with that name).  Over the years I have thought more than once that I identified with those men at several levels.  In a positive light, they were trying to obey God, they wanted to do everything right, they were striving to follow all of the rules and be accepted by the Lord.  Looking at it negatively, they were trying to elevate themselves over others with that perceived righteousness, their very nature and attitude bred pride, and they were sorely lacking in grace and mercy.  On my worst days, in my worst self, without Jesus, that is who I am as well.

I was reading in Matthew 21 this morning, about Jesus' entry into Jerusalem right before his crucifixion.  He is in the temple healing people--restoring health and wholeness, performing miracle after miracle of physical restoration.  Imagine what the healed and their families must have felt:  Relief, euphoria, joy, happiness, disbelief. . . Imagine what it might feel like to, for the first time, walk independently (or at all),  hear a loved one's voice,  see your child's face, be free from pain.  Participating in such celebration would be overwhelmingly joyful and happy and good.  Unless you were a Pharisee:   

And the blind and the lame came to him in the temple, and he healed them.  But when the chief priests and the scribes saw the wonderful things that he did, and the children crying out in the temple, “Hosanna to the Son of David!” they were indignant,  and they said to him, “Do you hear what these are saying?” And Jesus said to them, “Yes; have you never read, “‘Out of the mouth of infants and nursing babies  you have prepared praise’?” (Matthew 21: 14-16)

 C'mon.  They are in the middle of people being made whole and they are indignant?  Why?  Probably for a lot of reasons.  Maybe they were really upset that the children were calling Jesus the Son of David (the Messiah) when they weren't sure He actually was.  However, Jesus was fulfilling signs that the priests should have recognized (Isaiah 35:5-6, Isaiah 42:7).   Most of them, I bet, though, were upset for much less noble reasons.  Jesus was disturbing the order of the temple.  He was daring to put himself forward and mess up the order and flow of temple business.  He was stealing their limelight.  He wasn't playing by the rules and following the protocol.  All they could see was that Jesus was not acting according to their plan.  So they reacted with indignation.

I'm not a stranger to indignation, which exhibits itself in this decade as attitude.  I get attitude when things are not going according to my plan, not happening in the way I envisioned, or are making me uncomfortable.  Would I miss the joy in a room of healing because I was that upset about my plan?  I hope not, but I might.  In a similar situation, after seeing Jesus eating with tax collectors and sinners, the Pharisees (for sure the REAL Pharisees in this passage) criticize Jesus to His disciples, and Jesus responds by telling them that they need to learn what it means that He desires mercy and not sacrifice (Matthew 9:13).

I need to learn what that means.  I do not want to find myself in a room where Jesus is at work and have my prevailing emotion be indignation.  I want it to be awe, or joy, or gratitude.  Thank God for the gospel's power in my life, which transforms my Pharisee's heart into a merciful and grace-filled one.  I just wish it would happen a little bit faster.