So much of life is waiting. . .

As a Christian, I am waiting for a lot--for God to do His refining work in me, for Jesus to return, for me to GET how much God loves me and for me to see what He is doing . . .

What to do in the meantime? I have learned much about what the Lord is trying to teach me, tell me and show me through the discipline of daily time spent reading the Bible. So often we make this time harder than it has to be.

This blog was born out of wanting to share what God is showing me and wanting to be an example that daily time with God is not a deep or mysterious thing (well, every once in a while it can be), but simply a time to read scripture and note what jumps out at you that day. We don't have to be scholars or super-holy or ministry leaders to do this. Some days I hit the jackpot and others I come up empty--but only by persevering do I give God the space in which to speak and myself the stillness in which to hear and obey.

As of June of 2017, I've now decided to include parts of our adoption journey, which is, so far, yet another chapter of waiting.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Drawing Near

I intended on writing about practicing faith today. I'm reading  "The Fitting Room" by Kelly Minter, and in chapter five she shares a helpful explanation of how we work with the Lord to transform our character by what we choose to "practice".  I was musing over how I so much need to practice faith, and choose to believe God's Word as it applies to my life. . .

And I do. And you do. But there are times in our lives when it's too hard and we can't. We know all the right words and the applicable verses and what we SHOULD do and what we think God wants us to do, and we want to do it. But we can't.

Why can't we? Because it's too hard. Because we can't wait any longer for whatever it is we need. Because we cannot hope one more time only to be disappointed. Because we can't imagine living the rest of our life feeling this way. Because we don't see how to believe when the answer up to this point is always "No" (and maybe it's "Not yet" which is just a nicer way of saying "No".). Because there's nothing we can do to change our circumstances. Because we are tired of trying to be positive and full of faith in the face of denial.

Once upon a time, not so long ago, I would have been rendered even more hopeless because I would have decided that since I can't walk in faith, then God would be mad at me and disappointed in me. Okay, maybe not so once-upon-a-time; maybe just this morning. I'm getting a glimpse, though, that maybe God's not like that.

Have you ever seen a two- or three-year-old when they are in a meltdown? When they are either hungry or tired or sad or mad or all those things at the same time? When nothing you offer or threaten turns off their tears? Reason is out the window. All they know is that they don't feel good and their world is a mess and there is no way to fix it(that they can see). All you can do is to pick them up and hold them (and they often don't want to accept this, either) and wait for the storm to pass.

I think we are like that sometimes. It feels like the most important things to us aren't working. Nothing can fix it. No one helps. We are just tired and sad and mad and we no longer have the strength or ability to walk by faith. Maybe the Lord just wants us to come to Him in all of our weariness, sorrow, and anger. Maybe all we have to do is to "draw near":
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.(James 4:8)
Drawing near to the Lord when we are weak IS walking by faith. It's believing that He is there and waiting and good and will accept us even when we have nothing to offer.  I think we forget that we never had anything to offer--it was all God at the beginning, and it remains all Him in the middle. By drawing near I am trusting that God will give me the grace for what I face, and the strength to keep walking. And, sometimes, it's all that we can do.