So much of life is waiting. . .

As a Christian, I am waiting for a lot--for God to do His refining work in me, for Jesus to return, for me to GET how much God loves me and for me to see what He is doing . . .

What to do in the meantime? I have learned much about what the Lord is trying to teach me, tell me and show me through the discipline of daily time spent reading the Bible. So often we make this time harder than it has to be.

This blog was born out of wanting to share what God is showing me and wanting to be an example that daily time with God is not a deep or mysterious thing (well, every once in a while it can be), but simply a time to read scripture and note what jumps out at you that day. We don't have to be scholars or super-holy or ministry leaders to do this. Some days I hit the jackpot and others I come up empty--but only by persevering do I give God the space in which to speak and myself the stillness in which to hear and obey.

As of June of 2017, I've now decided to include parts of our adoption journey, which is, so far, yet another chapter of waiting.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Just Go Away

Here in sunny Houston, reading in Matthew 14 about Jesus feeding the five thousand. I have read this story probably 400 times in my life, and yet, once again, there is a "new" verse included in the narrative. Jesus had gone away to be alone, but the crowds followed Him. He has pity on them and spends the day healing them, but evening is coming. The disciples reason that it's getting late and there's no 7-11 around the corner to grab some nachos, so they decide that Jesus needs to tell the crowd to go home. After all, no one invited them to this place, so they are under no obligation to take care of the people, right? The disciples tell Jesus to send the crowds away. Jesus says, in verse 16:

"They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat."

Um. . . what? Why do we have to give them something to eat? Not my job. Not my problem. These thoughts would be going through my head (and probably coming out my mouth). There are times when people come to my church family and they have needs. Like the disciples, I can look and think "Not my job." That attitude is not a Christlike one and obviously not the way Jesus wants me to view other people.

Then comes the simple idea that "I can't." I can't feed 5000 people. Myself and all the rest of the disciples can't feed 5000 people. Just what are you asking, Jesus? My home group is reading Max Lucado's book "Fearless", and he also talks about this story, reminding us that the disciples didn't have just five loaves and two fish. They had five loaves, two fish, and JESUS.

I have been thinking about that a lot since I read it. So often I look at the needy people around me and, sometimes, in my darkest heart and worst day, wish they would just go away. I feel inadequate to meet their needs and like I won't be able to do it. I have forgotten that it is Jesus that is telling me that they don't need to go away; I need to give them something to eat (not because I necessarily want to, but because He has compassion on them). I have forgotten that I don't have to conjure up food, only to use what I have been given and bring it to Jesus.

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